falling under skies of tears

By Anne-Julie

ENG/ I’m deeply sorry for this one month hiatus. I tried so many times in the past weeks to write a proper post to let you know what’s going on here, but I failed each time. Not to mention I don’t usually use my blog to speak about things related to very personal life… People who follow me on facebook have a little idea, I don’t know why it was easier to communicate about my feelings on there. Maybe it’s because it’s facebook.  Maybe because my blog is an important part of me, my second home, and that I didn’t want to talk about this here, as it will mean I’ll have to admit it again one more time. But I really need to talk about it, because in the upcoming days, weeks, months… my art will only have this dark and very melancolic mood you all know. So today, I have this little light of strength that helps me to put into words what happened.

For 5 years, I was inspired, and supported by love. HE was clearly my inspiration, my mojo, my strength, my little star.. my boyfriend then my fiancé.  On the first week of January, while I was thinking of how lucky I was, 2010 had to be our year, the celebration of our Love, our wedding, he told me he wanted to stop. Everything. First, he told me about the wedding. Then, us. He broke with me. I didn’t see anything come. How’s happened I didn’t see anything come!? Everything crashed around me. From this day, I only try to survive this nightmare. Without him. He was everything to me. He still is. I’m that kind of girl who strongly believe in love, and I really do believe in the “Only One”. Fortunately I do have friends and family who care for me. However I still don’t have the courage to voice what happened. I can send emails only. I recently find refuge in books, this is the only thing I can do to avoid thinking of the situation, of him, of us. I listen to music too. One day, I will think of this situation, and I will know that everything happen for a reason. But as for now, I’m only trying to survive. And this is not easy.

So now you have a little idea of what happened here, please forgive me if I’m not as productive as I was before. I will continue to work, I will try to create new stuff, and I will definitely use my blog to share all this with you, as always. I just need some time. Love you all ♥

FR/ Je voulais vous donner des nouvelles, expliquer cette absence pendant 1 mois. J’ai réussi à écrire tout ça en anglais, mais c’est trop difficile encore de l’écrire en français. Comme je n’y arrive pas, je vous propose simplement de traduire le texte en utilisant ce traducteur assez fidèle . Voilà, j’ai juste besoin de temps… Bises à tous ♥

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156 Comments on falling under skies of tears

  1. woolies
    March 19, 2010 at 4:11 pm (11 years ago)

    ahhhhh I read your words and can still recall the devastation you feel when the world as you knew it, ends. I am so very sorry. My son, recently, endured his first heartbreak. At age 17, it was unimaginably sad. I would spend hours just holding him. How can it be possible for someone to just stop loving the one that they have loved? I do not know. But I know it happens.
    But he has come out a stronger person, although – less trusting.
    As someone posted before me, to every season, turn turn turn.
    I will say a little prayer for you, and light a candle that you might find your way.

  2. Coffeemonkey
    March 24, 2010 at 6:04 am (11 years ago)

    C’est la premier fois que je lis ton blog mais c’est come si je te connais deja. Courage, mon amie! Le soleil sortira. Mais prends ton temps avec ton chagrin car tu en as le droit. Mais n’y reste pas trop longtemps car le monde t’attends. Hope my french is still legible as it has been a very long time. Just in case, in english, go ahead and spend some time with your grief, but don’t let it pull you down to far. The world awaits your lovely self! And don’t forget that there are friends here to support you all over the world even if you’ve never met them. Even though this is the first time I have read your blog and have never spoken to you before, I know you well. As well as the pain I know you’re feeling…but the sun will shine again. Just give yourself time and lean on your friends. Best Wishes! :heart:

  3. flavy
    May 18, 2010 at 11:07 pm (11 years ago)

    je viens de lire ton message sur ce qui t arrivé.J’espère que mon frére t’apporte le réconfort dont tu as besoin,je vs souhaite d’etre heureux tt les deux car vous le méritez vraiment….J’aime énormément mon frère et tt ce que je veux c le voir heureux et je crois bien qu’aujourd’hui il l’es enfin….Gros bisous à tt les deux

  4. matchstickgirl
    May 19, 2010 at 12:00 pm (11 years ago)

    OOO Anne-Julie I am so sorry

    but look at all the people who love you and wish you well …

    we all do !!!!

    xx

  5. Geri
    October 7, 2010 at 4:49 pm (11 years ago)

    You must feel like you’re an eternity away from the feeling you had on this day – I’m so happy that you’ve come so far!

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